i can't wait to go home.
as much as i love travelling, i'm feeling so home-sick now.
i wanna go home.

while here, i had thinking done.
and i came to one simple conclusion.

people that mistreated me, people that broke my heart. people that tore me apart. 
you are the people i wouldn't give a damn fuck when i'm doing well. 
i'm talking about now, i'm talking about the future.
i promise you won't be the one next to me when i'm flying high.
i promise you will be the one doing regrets.

because of you, here is me. 

goodnight moscow.

the unknown 3rd year. 

are you happy?

so who was dying inside now?

you may have already decided to break all promises.

and i have decided that i'm keeping mine.

it's a love story.

but nobody's saying yes.

suddenly very tired.
don't even wanna think.
but yet i couldn't deny that i can't stop the thoughts from coming.

so weak.

i'm closing my eyes, making myself sleep.
dreams are better than reality. 
isn't it so....

goodnight

today, i got lost while trying to find my way home.
i saw familiar signs which i thought might lead me home.
so i walked. and walked. and walked.
but i still find myself nowhere near home.

i wonder who knows where i was.
i wonder who could find me.

frustrated with almost everything and everybody.
i was angry. i was upset.
but i told no tales.

this shouldn't be the way baby.. no..

i promise to give myself the best.
i promise to love myself the most.
i promise i will be everything to myself.
i promise to ..

i should, and i will.

sick like a kitty. tired like a puppy.
to shanghai tomorrow again.
goodnight.

PEOPLE CHANGE.
it's either you live with it, or leave it.
and i chose to leave, long long back ago.

back from christchurch.

and that scenic view from my room.

i got the last mambo over and done with.

reliving every single moment i once had.

that feeling.

i don't think there's a word good enough to express it all.

"and i was dying inside to hold you, couldn't believe what i felt for you"

well, there isn't any reason for me to be lost in it anymore..

and, my birthday's in 3 days later.

i am turning 23!

(:

i have no plans.

not because i'm rostered for work.

but because i am left on standby(s).

what am i suppose to feel then?

perhaps hope for icn-sfo?

or what?

it's going to be a 24hours period since a good sleep!

CRASHING.

lastly......

WHAT'S UP TOMORROW?

LET'S WAIT AND SEE.

till then,

early night, good night.

on an unofficial off for 6 days. 

usual night with my dearest(s) - checked.
zombie - checked.
getting wasted - checked.
love-hate mambo date - checked.
sleeping in - checked.
home cooked food - checked.
late night tv - checked.
movie - checked.
grandma house - checked.
lunch/dinner with mum - checked.

and i left out cleaning up my room. everything of mine at home is a big mess still. time to sleep and be back to work tomorrow. :)

i think you could tell.. 

there's no need for a speech.

as far as i am concern, i am here to stay for good. 

well, at least.. 

period.